Tears

I am NOT an emotional person. I never have been. But today, I have cried more than I have in a long time. This morning I received a phone call at 7:30 that set the mood for my day. This phone call must have been what broke through the wall, because since then, I have been an emotional wreck! I have cried all day!
Shortly after Kailie died, I met a woman who had just lost her baby, Noah. Over the past 8 1/2 years, we have held each other in prayer and been a strong support for each other. The funny thing is, in all that time, we had never talked on the phone or met in person. It was only last week that we took the plunge and began instant messaging. Even though we have never met in person, or even heard each others' voice, I know she is my friend and will be there whenever I need her.
While God has blessed me with two more children, she and her husband have prayed and tried for more children, but had not been granted this plea. Last month, she told me that they were beginning the IVF process. I knew the egg retrieval would happen around Kailie’s birthday, which also happens to be her nephew, who lives in Heaven, and her sister’s birthdays. As it turned out, the egg retrieval was on their birthdays. This morning, she broke all unwritten “no call” rules to tell me that she was looking at a positive pregnancy test! I cried. I cried in happiness, sharing her excitement and feeling all the emotions I felt when I found out that I was pregnant with Nicholas and with Aubie. I cried out of relief that her prayers had been answered, knowing that God's timing is different than ours and is perfect. I cried in praise for our God who listens to our hearts and has great plans. I cried because I was suddenly overwhelmed with so much emotion for how awesome God is and how he can take anything and use it for His good. I cried, well, because I could…
It is funny, that even though we have never talked in person or even met, I knew her voice the minute I answered my phone this morning. It was as though we had talked a million times and knew everything about each other. There was no awkwardness, no “what to say next” moments. Our friendship has been a total blessing, a gift from God.
As I cried, I thought about our friendship and how strong it is and how it put me in mind of my relationship with God… I don’t have to physically have seen God to know what he looks like. I have seen Him in the face of my children, of my friends, of the people I met in Africa. I do not have to have heard His voice to know His words as they are whispered in my ear, shared through a friend, or through His written word. I don’t have to see God to trust Him with my life and to know that He is the greatest friend, counselor, support that I will ever have. All I have to do is have faith, be willing to trust, and make that call…

Thank you Jesus for your greatness and for having a plan that is greater than we can ever imagine for each of us!