Sixth Months Later....

My sophomore year in college, I went to a missionary conference over the Christmas Break with several other students from Bluffton. I was a new Christian and in love with only Him. The conference changed my life. I knew at the age of 18 that my goal was to serve Christ with all I had. Worshiping with 18,000+ believers, and sharing in communion at midnight on New's Years Day was very powerful. I remember coming back from the conference high on the mountain top, ready to serve. Yet, some how between that conference in 1994 and 2008, I lost that feeling and forgot what my ultimate goal was. I forgot what it was to put God first and my desire to serve only Him. Somehow, I had strayed. Maybe it was the time factor,the choices I made, life circumstances, or perhaps a little of everything. Regardless of how it happened, in 2008 I began to realize, I was no where near who I wanted to be and my relationship with God was less than I ever imagined it would be. I began slowly finding God and the relationship with Him that I had lost. When I began attending Liberty, God began moving in a mighty way.

Sixth months ago, I was in Africa. When I was asked, I really had no idea why I was asked or why God would want me to go. I had nothing to offer anyone, or so I thought. My experience in Africa, like that of the missionary conference was life altering. Unlike the conference, I did not come back on the mountain top high (I came back exhausted beyond belief! :~)) I came back with the understanding that God was wanting more of me, and I wanted more of Him.

I learned a lot from the women and children that we met. I don't think that is how it was supposed to work. I thought I was going to Uganda to serve them, not to be served by them. What a surprise God had in store for me! To be given so much, to be shown such unconditional love and gratitude was powerful. To see people making sacrifices for me, when I knew it was all they had, was humbling. They didn't ask me if I deserved their welcome or their acceptance, they gave it freely.

People have asked me several times what it was like to be in Africa with those that have "so little," betting I saw things I could never have imagined. They are right in some sense. Maybe they had very little by our western, materialistic standard. But for those who had found Jesus, they were wealthier than anyone I have ever met. As for seeing things I never imagined, you bet! I saw a woman give up her only chicken in gratitude for us coming to visit her. I saw proud moms showing off their children. I saw children with clothes that didn't fit, with extended bellies, playing with bottle caps, with the greatest smiles one could ever imagine. I saw Jesus in each of them.

Since returning from Africa, I have sought God with a renewed passion. I have read, prayed, and studied. My goal is to allow Him to work through me and in me, all for His glory. Life has not gotten easier since my trip to Africa. If anything, things have been tougher. Some days I can focus on Him, and other days I need a reminder that His plan is far greater than I can understand. Many times, it is on these days that I run across a teaspoon laying in the strangest places (Read "The Teaspoon" if this doesn't make sense to you! ). I used to pick them up, throw them in the sink. and wonder why in the world the kids were playing with the teaspoons and why they were all over the house. Now, I stop, smile, and thank God for the reminder. He continues to show me his mercy and love, I just need to remember to slow down and allow Him the chance.

Africa changed me, but not in the way I thought it would. It changed my perspective. It changed my desires and goals. He continues to show me that the secret to my contentment is to trust in Him for the strength I need in each and every situation (Philippians 4:12-13)! I'm not the greatest or strongest in my faith. Sometimes,I have hard time trusting that He has a greater plan and allowing Him to work, but I do know one thing, and to this I will cling, "I belong to Jesus!"