Frank

His name was Frank. He had those big blue eyes that melted my heart, messy brown hair. He was a rule breaker, and I fell for him. I was barely twenty, he was seven. I was student teaching when I met Frank. The teacher had already developed a strong distaste for this boy who would not follow rules, that tried her patience, that just refused to cooperate. He had been separated from the others,and had spent a great deal of his first grade year counting the bricks in the hallway.  But, I liked him.  Perhaps at first it was because my cooperating teacher had a mutual distaste for both him and me (and I could not stand her).   Regardless what the early draw towards this boy was, we developed a strong bond. The last I saw Frank, he had come to school with huge bruises all over his arm. As a last resort, the teacher called me to see if I could get him to talk, I couldn't.  I have always wondered what happened to Frank.  Looking back,  I can say that Frank was the first in a long line of trouble making, rule breaking, score-crashing kids that I fell in love with.

After surviving a horrific student teaching experience, I vowed I would never set foot in a classroom. I decided to do Voluntary Service through the church since I had just wasted four years on a teaching degree. I mean, that is what made the most sense...waste money on a four year degree, take a nonpaying job--brilliant! In all honesty, it was where God was leading me. It was what God had planned for me. I was just trying to be obedient.

The first two assignments I was offerred--teaching troubled kids. Kids with severe mental illness and had severe behavior issues.  I KNEW that was NOT for me, so instead I took a job with the Boys & Girls Club and as a youth minstry director.  Even here, I found myself drawn more to those rowdy kids that others found exhausting!  There was Alex with his crazy wild hair, dirty socks tucked under his feet and stuffed into his shoes.  He ended up staying with me for several weeks after his dad backed out and his mom was training for a new job. There was Scott, who challenged every ounce of patience and self control that I had. When he moved away, I cried.

A year and a half into my service commitment, my first teaching job found me. They sought me out. Teaching preschool couldn't be too bad, right? My first day teaching was the first time I had heard a four year old drop the "f" bomb and use it in a grammatically correct manner! That little gem was Stephen, cute as a button! Then there was John. He would climb out of his window at home and walk along the second story roof.  Boy, I love that kid! His curly blonde hair, his toothless grin, and those deep brown eyes that penetrated right through to my heart.  As much of a challenge as he was, I chose to keep him for the full day instead of the half day preschool session. It was what would be best for him.

When we chose to move back to Ohio, the job I was offerred was that of an special educator for a class of kids with severe mental disorders and behavior issues--the exact thing I had turned down six years before.   It was to be a transition job,to get my foot in the door with the district. I had no clue that I would fall in love.  These kids that many times other staff did not want in their rooms  have given me so many great memories.  For fourteen years, I cared for these kids, or maybe they cared for me. So many good stories, so many good memories: the boy who stole his cousins shoes and brought them to be as a gift for my newborn son, the girl with with hair piece that flew off during morning holding, that began to scream "my hair! my hair" as the entire school turned just in time to see the hair fly across the auditorium.

Long before I was ready to listen, God was preparing me for the the mission He had for my life. It is only through His strength and direction that I have worked with the children He brought to me I look back now and the path that I have taken to get to where I am now, makes me smile. It took me a long time to know what God wanted for me. I am so glad that He is patient and never gives up on me.

In the next few months, a new part of my life mission will begin. I look forward to the relationships, the stories, the challenges that lay ahead.  Only God knows what will happen. So, I will trust Him, because He  has the answers, knows what is best, what will come.

It has been almost twenty years since I laid eyes on Frank.  His face, like many other past students, is still etched into my mind, leaving me to wonder where they are and who they have become. Perhaps when I arrive in Heaven, my Abba Father will share stories of who these little guys and gals became! Until then, when their faces and memories pop into my mind, I will savor the time I had with each of them!